Diary of a transfer-fiend
By Joe Fitzpatrick
Ever get the feeling that you've been cheated?
I know that each of you will have his own unique story to tell. This is one ordinary Gooner's story, in every gruesome little detail.
20:17 I'm only starting to write this now because I really wanted to believe that Arsenal were going to bring in at least one "top, top-quality player" before the transfer window shuts. I'm sure a lot of you are getting very, very nervous now, as am I. Every single one of us must surely agree that we need at least two players to even think about challenging for a Championship title-race played out over a 38-game season. There surely aren't any Gooners out there saying "We've got a fantastic squad! We're going to win the league! We don't need any more players to come in!" are there? If there are, then I envy the bliss that they find in their profound ignorance. I'm going to check Sky Sports now. Yes, I know that I am obsessed. At least I admit it. Not holding my breath, but fingers are well and truly crossed.
19:52 Chelsea say they are willing to let midfielder Michael Essien go out on loan - but not to London rivals, Arsenal. That is taken directly from the Sky Sports website. Why are we even going for Essien? He's about as fit as Ledley King! Surely we can do better than a washed-up Chelsea midfielder? Speaking of Chelsea, Falcao has just scored his hat-trick goal. He looks quite good. Maybe we should try to buy him. Ha ha! I'm off to phone Arsène and try to give him a juicy little transfer-tip in my best Terry Tibbs voice: "Arsène baby, do yourself a favour and bang your telly over to Channel Five! There's this gorgeous Portuguese guy who will make you forget all about those other boys who broke your sweet little heart! Thank you and good night, much love!"
20:41 I'm watching the highlights of Falcao's first-half performance against Chelsea and wondering how long it will be before we see a player like that in an Arsenal shirt again. Easily in the same class as van Persie. He is simply unplayable in this kind of form, top-class. Still not a sniff of Arsenal transfer action to report and I'm not a happy bunny at all. In my humble opinion, we need a goalkeeper, a versatile defender, a defensive or box-to-box midfielder and another goal-scorer to even dream about winning the title. How we haven't signed a single player so far today is beyond me. Fulham have signed Berbatov, Manchester City have signed Scott Sinclair and Tottenham have signed Hugo Lloris. Deals could have been done! I'm off to watch Chelsea get slaughtered to cheer myself up a bit. In the words of fellow Gooner, John Lydon, "Ever get the feeling that you've been cheated?" That season-ticket is looking really expensive now. My poor girlfriend is in for a season full of me coming home really, really p***ed off. I think I'm going to be single again by May if I don't begin learning some Tibetan meditation exercises immediately. Why, Arsenal? Why do you do this to me? Do you hate me personally?
21:03 Chelsea are still trailing by three goals to nil and I'm going to give the transfer news "one last check". Oh have a look! Chelsea are now losing by four and I am finding some kind of perverted solace in their humiliation!
21:09 I really hope that this isn't true - "20.51: The word on Clint Dempsey is that Liverpool offered Fulham £4m, had it refused, and won't go higher. Villa had a bid of £5m plus £2m add-ons accepted but the American did not fancy that switch", again taken directly from the Sky Sports website. No-one can tell me that we wouldn't be stronger with Berbatov, Moutinho, Lloris, Dempsey or Maicon in our squad. They look like they will have all moved clubs by tonight except for maybe Moutinho. Why weren't we in for any of those players?
This commentary on ITV is rubbish; I'm gonna put some music on instead. If I worked for ITV Sport I would do anything I could (within reason of course!) to sign up Andy Gray. Enough time has gone by now, hasn't it? Haven't we all suffered Andy Townshend enough? Just get Mr. Gray to do a sincere public apology live on air during his first show and he would be grand. People have come back from worse mistakes. Anyway we haven't signed anybody and I'm going to have a well-deserved smoke in the garden with the girlfriend because Chelsea have just pulled one back through Gary Cahill, who we should have f***ing signed f***ing ages ago! Hazard or Mata would have been nice too! I need to chill. Deep breaths. What would the Dalai Lama do in this situation? Ok. so I'm not quite there yet.... What would Bob Marley or Ozzy Osbourne do in this situation?
21:35 Chelsea nearly scored an own-goal through a panic-stricken David Luiz. I really hope that this bit of news from Sky Sports isn't true "21.29: Big news - Clint Dempsey is reportedly at Spurs Lodge". That has really upset me. Totttenham are at least trying to improve their squad. What are we doing? Resting on our laurels, that's what. I'm sure there's going to be a lot of "Spend some f***ing money" chants at the Grove this season when it has all gone horribly wrong. Tottenham will be finishing above us this season. Please prove me wrong, Arsenal, because I just can't stand the thought of us finishing below the Scum because we didn't spend a penny on transfers! We are in profit again! What the Hell is going on? Back to the garden for me. I need to calm down.
22:10 I'm feeling much more relaxed now. This piece of news is not as infuriating as it should be..."21:59 Dempsey has agreed personal terms with Spurs now so it looks like that one is a goer". Oh dear. I spent most of last season championing Dempsey and telling everyone how good he is. Too bad that I now have to (by Gooner law) hate him forever, as I was forced to do with David Ginola and Rafael van der Vaart even though I thought that they were excellent players before they signed for the vilest football club on earth.
22:18 it's official. "22:02 Dempsey is a Spurs player! He has joined on a three-year deal for £6m." Wow. That's ridiculous. Wow. £6m is a steal for Clint Dempsey. When Scott Parker returns, they are going to have a decent midfield. If they sign Moutinho, I am going to lock myself in the cupboard under the stairs listening to only David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Tool and Pink Floyd on my overpriced headphones for a whole week. I have officially spent more money on headphones than Arsenal have spent on football players. How crazy is that?
23:55 not a sausage. We haven't signed anybody and it doesn't look like we will. I'm too mashed to even properly care anyway. I'm glad that I have a lot of other interests away from football, otherwise I'd be devastated. I can feel myself going into a shell-shocked state of realisation, soon to be followed by anger, denial, bargaining, grief and then trance-like acceptance.
A lot of difficult games ahead, and it's going to be a real struggle to make fourth place. Injuries and suspensions will expose the lack of depth in our squad. Will we spend in January? I very much doubt it. Is anyone out there seriously going to tell me that selling Alex Song and van Judas while allowing Theo Walcott to enter the final year of his contract was a good move? Why couldn't we do the same with van Persie? I'm sick of this now. Kroenke will never invest in us and I'm paying thousands of pounds to watch us sell our best players every single season. I must be a masochist. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me five times and I am the muggiest of all mugs. I off to listen to the Cure followed by some Adele. Each transfer-window that passes takes a piece of my soul with it.
1st September 2012
User Comment and Reaction
User comments on this article are now closed. If you want to continue the debate, why not do so on the Gooner Forum.
Laddy N 13:17pm 1st Sep 2012
I feel as sick as you do, we have been taken for a ride. Who do we have as back up strikers to Giroud and Podolski, who plays out wide most of the time anyway ? The team is weaker than it was last season and we finished 17 points i think behind the two mancs, that is disgusting considering we were supposed to be taking over from the moaners as the major force in English football just a couple of years ago. We moved grounds to enable us to compete at the top, the nearest we may get will be battling for a top 8 place. Remember Wengers saying, judge me in June, well i did and you have failed miserably, and are getting worse. Please do not insult my inteligence and say we will be challenging this season, if you believe that then you need shooting. Any manager at a top club with a record like ours over the last 5 years would have been sacked - does that confirm that it is the owner and board who is to blame for our slow slide down the pecking order of the premiership ? We know Wenger will not buy in January, as you do not get value as players fees are blown up to quote Wenger. GOD HELP US ! - Post No. 28551
Admir 13:22pm 1st Sep 2012
Simple - don't buy season ticket next season. Don't buy anything. Don't put anything in Stan Kroenke's big fat wallet. You can support Arsenal from your armchair or bed as well. Send this message to all Arsenal season tickets holders. Boycott is the only way. - Post No. 28552
Andy B 13:33pm 1st Sep 2012
It's a similar story to me too. I think it's fair to say we can't do much about it now so for the final time I'm gonna give Wenger, and more importantly those tight assholes on the board, one last chance. If we challenge, and I mean REALLY challenge, for the title and a few cups then fair enough and I'll hold my hands up and say I got it wrong. But if we don't I think we have every right to say enoughs enough and demand a change to the board and manager. I'm old school so remember hard times in years gone past but even I have got to the point when I think we are truly being taken for mugs. When we were the "Invincibles" I honestly believed with a few tweaks to the team we could push on and be a top European club for years to come but how wrong it all went. - Post No. 28553
Stroud Green Road Boy 13:38pm 1st Sep 2012
The policy is obvious, and once realised it stops one stressing in the hope the squad will be improved: In return for making a profit on transfers every year, Kroenke gives Wenger £7m a year and free rein to run the club as he likes. That's the deal between them. That's the deal that runs Arsenal Football Club. - Post No. 28554
maguiresbridge gooner 14:09pm 1st Sep 2012
I wasn't getting nervous at all joe because the chances of any more signings were very very slim indeed after all we were in profit.Of course there's gooners out there who think we've got a fantastic squad and we're going to win the league even the CL then reality kicks in.We certainly would have been stronger with the five you mention (especially Lloris)why this position hasn't been properly addressed is a joke but no ones laughing but the problem is as you know it would have killed the little darlings he already has something the top managers don't worry about.As for letting RVP go and not walcott way way more profit in VP and walcott might come good before Jan.Tibetan meditation no good for frustration joe girlfriend straight to bed or even the garden leave the smoke till after. - Post No. 28556
Angry & Frustrated 14:17pm 1st Sep 2012
Why are you surprised Joe? Surely the surprise for all of us would be if we had done the opposite of making yet another transfer window profit! You didn't seriously think we would display any ambition did you, as that noble concept died out years ago with the move from Highbury! We can all look forward to our trophy-the accounts (apart from our second annual trophy 3/4th place) showing yet more cash reserves very soon! - Post No. 28557
Big Andy 14:18pm 1st Sep 2012
The point made at the end of this article was the most important. If we are now happy to let players run down their contracts then why didn't we keep Van Persie for his last year? Useless Walcott should have been sold off for whatever we could get for him, now it looks like he'll be offered stupid money to sign a new deal. The club has gone crazy. - Post No. 28558
Yanto 14:21pm 1st Sep 2012
Kroenke is Never going to put money in - Only take it out, same for p hill-wood and the rest of the garbage that masquerades as our Board of directors, and of course Arsene Wenger...who yet again has tried to do deals on the cheap - The Arsenal have become a laughing stock under his management - Not just this transfer window - but remember how we missed out on Alonso - all because Wenger wouldn't pay an extra £5k or so a month - Then of course there's Mata - who could have transformed our team - again Wenger doing things on the cheap lost him to the Chavs. Sahin !? - another fiasco - and so Wenger waits till transfer deadline to try and sign Essien - someone way past his prime...while the lot up the road - signa world class goalie, akong with a tried and tested striker and a mid-fielder wo looks not disimilar to a certain PV4....Wenger has lost all the respect, kudos and affection he had gained from Gooners. Wenger now says one thing - then either does the opposite or nothing at all. It was always going to be a tough ask - to get someone to fill rvp's boots...but as usual Wenger tries to do it on the cheap. Time for him to hang his head in shame, along with the board members and Mr Wall-Mart ...I hope the AKB's will now admit (at long last) that Wenger MUST go! - Post No. 28559
RVP 15:01pm 1st Sep 2012
I feel for you believing any word that Wenger was saying!!! I haven't spent a penny on Arsenal for the last 2 years and that's the only way i feel relieve not to get p'ed off with myself for supporting a degrading club!!!! I'm not far from calling Arsenal a history club!!!# - Post No. 28560
DW Thomas 15:02pm 1st Sep 2012
Humorous change of pace, yet I still feel your pain. Ridiculous we signed no one. An utter dereliction of duty. Selling RVP and keeping Walcott. And he cares nothing about money? What more proof do any rational, intelligent fans need to see that Wenger and the club think we're all a bunch of muppets? I finally have the straw that has broken the haystack of any trust/faith I had that the club would turn things around. Any way you look at it we are worse off. We sold world class and bought average class...jury's still out on Cazorla. And don't give me the line that they need to settle in! We hear that every year because our best leave! Our squad isn't bad but no depth. One or two injuries away from failure AGAIN! Other clibs show interest in players, pay the required fees, and give a wage that is competitive. What do we do? Lose out again and again! Mata,Hazard, Dempsey, M'Vila, Lloris, etc., etc. we co to ue to go backwards! We need break through top performing seasons from too many players to succeed. But what do I know? I don't see them in training each day like Le Boss! Look how good Fabianski now is? And Almunia. Just like RVP. Why did we let him go? Kidding if u missed that one! Like the past 7 years the excuses are already being rolled out. "Top class?" who? Sylvestre? Denilson? Bendtner? Chamakh? Sqillaci? The manager is a prankster! I really hope we do come good, but I just can't see it. And you and I have been saying it for 7 years going on 8. A farce! - Post No. 28561
greg71 15:13pm 1st Sep 2012
? did we try for any signings or are we content with our returning diaby and wilshire as like new signings ! three months to get new players and not one bought with any premier league experience,january is too late for the missing links! i had the black keys playing loud to regulate the blood pressure,fearing that radiohead will be playing from tomorrow for a long long time! - Post No. 28562
Smee 15:19pm 1st Sep 2012
Here comes another trophyless season. Yet again Arsenal have failed to buy players of quality for the positions we need to fill. I to sat watching the transfer news hoping that for once we were going to put our hands in our pocket. The closest that was achieved was the directors loading their pockets with the proceeds of the club. No doubt at the end of this season, we will sell our best player yet again. Will it be Jack or the Ox , or will someone have a good season and think its time for them to leave. I did get excited when there was speculation that Walcott was being exchanged for Dzeko, but even that never happened. And here is the saddest part of it all, I will still be hoping and expecting us to win every game we play. - Post No. 28563
DW Thomas 16:28pm 1st Sep 2012
Dembele just scored a great goal for Spurs. Class move Walcott could never dream about. Man why oh don't we get guys like him? Oh yeah, no ambition and penny pinching. - Post No. 28565
jj 16:55pm 1st Sep 2012
Wenger better get some good results because if he doesn't the pressure will be immense. I sense that the majority of the fans finally get it and are not going to get mugged off again. - Post No. 28572
Lebanese Gooner 17:16pm 1st Sep 2012
I've been reading this blog for the last 2 years while i've been an AFC supporter Since 1997 when we started having satellite channels broadcasting the EPL permanently in my country, and i based my decision on the fact that Arsenal were performing a different brand of football, entertaining easy on the eye but same time efficient and trophy winning. I am not in a position to compare myself to the die hard fans of u who were AFC fans since the day they were born or even their grandfathers and fathers r supporters, but i think i am one of thousands of supporters living outside the UK who love this club for what it represents but unfortunately since we are not on ground,this blog and the similar sites are our only way to express ourselves. I spent the whole yesterday switching from one site to another hoping to get a hint of some good news concerning our transfer activity (or lack of it), but as u all know by now the end result was : most of the deadwood is still on our wage bill, only 2 offloaded on loan and no one coming in. I decided to write today bcos enough is enough, it's about time fans who r on ground start protesting and loudly, boycotting games and not buying any merchandise , hitting the silent man in Denver where it hurts him the most, in his pockets, maybe by then he will understand that football is not just another American sports where any franchisee whatever mediocre its results are is still profitable. It's up to you fans who r season tickets holders to make the hundred of thoushands of fans around the globe's voice and discontent be heard. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - Post No. 28575
AFC BANK 17:49pm 1st Sep 2012
Giroud will go down as a big mistake. Chamakh was already one. Dempsey would be a safer bet but not wenger's kind of player. we continue to be in great shape financially. but this is the seaon where i think it all comes home to roost big time. - Post No. 28579
I am old enough to see us win a trophy 19:14pm 1st Sep 2012
Wally Walnutt will leave for £5m in january and we will sign Henry on a 6 game loan.Its all too predictable.There is a shareholders AGM in october that should be boycotted.And its time Arsenal fans organised a boycott of a premier league game thats the only way you can show to Wenger and Kroenke enough is enough - Post No. 28590
GoonerRon 20:03pm 1st Sep 2012
@ DW Thomas - you say the jury is still out on Cazorla, yet I guarantee you if we were linked with him but didn't buy him and he had produced the two performances so far for Chelsea or Citeh, you'd be using that as a stick to beat Wenger with. Cazorla is class, if you can't see that it is merely to justify your argument against the boss. - Post No. 28596
leo zis 20:24pm 1st Sep 2012
Hahaha..beautiful and sad piece...sad to admit how this was me as well mate...ONE comment/question...Give me the name of any of the current lot, who could walk head held up/ proudly into the Invincibles team..??? - Post No. 28598
Joe fitzpatrick 21:04pm 1st Sep 2012
Big Andy- I think it's because no one really came in with a big enough bid for Walcott. If he was really worth £100,000 a week then someone would have come in with a £18m bid. That Nobody did tells it's own story. I really hope that he can rediscover the Walcott that scored two against Tottenham and terrorised Barcelona on a consistent basis. - Post No. 28601
Rob 21:05pm 1st Sep 2012
Yet another summer passes and our team gets weaker. No doubt the "judge me at the end of the season" line will come out. The way Wenger has been going on about 3rd spot last year shows us what he now considers a success. He keeps rolling the dice of letting the team get weaker and weaker, and until now he has come up trumps. Have a real horrible feeling it will not work out that way this coming season. - Post No. 28602
Avenell road 21:14pm 1st Sep 2012
Sit down. Are you a Chelsea fan in disguise? Actual supporters understand the ebb and flow of so called 'success' and recognise we have the best manager we could possibly need right now. You are a customer, so use your freedom of choice and go elsewhere. - Post No. 28603
Bmth gooner Pete 21:40pm 1st Sep 2012
Brilliant piece that has provoked some superb responses.... Admir, i could not say it better.... BUY NOTHING..... WATCH FROM HOME.....PRESS THE RESET BUTTON... If you do go to a game wear your Dreamcast or JVC shirt....THROW your Nasri and RVP shirt onto the pitch when you next attend, it will only hurt you to keep it and a pile of these fifty quid spends plus full shelves in the shop will soowake up the board..... - Post No. 28606
CanadaGooner 23:41pm 1st Sep 2012
Arsenal's failure to bring in at least 1 combatant midfielder when we know wilshere may or may not return anytime soon is simply criminal! neither arteta nor carzola will win a great deal of balls back or dig in deep and throw a few hard crunching tackles in when teams like man utd run rings around our midfield. we have no defensive cover and no spare goalie. And people still expect a miiracle? I have always been and will always be an admirer of wenger, but I am totally fed up of hearing him use the words "quality" and "fluency". we hired him as a football manager not a college professor! I'm sick and tired of the illogical quest for perfection, when all we want is a team that can dig deep to grind out a handful of results and be competitive. this is going to be yet another long, aggravating season for us! - Post No. 28612
GaryFootscrayAustralia 5:58am 2nd Sep 2012
I fear that while Ivan, Stan and Arsene consider themselves to be the club's "Masters Of Reality", then we could be facing a few "Seasons In The Abyss" until things turn for the better. I am not at all surprised that there were no signings of any import - let's hope that this doesn't lead to the Liverpool match being a "Black Sunday" event like last year's trip to Old Trafford. - Post No. 28618
Andy B 9:06am 2nd Sep 2012
I wish we could bring back Highbury cause from what I can see moving to the new ground has given us nothing ..... Absolutely nothing. Can anyone honestly tell me that if we had stayed at Highbury we would have been in a worse position as we are now ? Please don't say we'll see the rewards in 5 years time ..... Do me a favour ! - Post No. 28621
Ron 10:40am 2nd Sep 2012
Andy B - my view totally. I said at the time and have never changed it, that increasing to 50000 capacity (as was planned for and do-able) and a general upgrading all around at Highbury would have been better than moving. The last 7 years have just underpinned my view. The Club got caight up in an era where 'having a new stadium' was the great desire and mission. You wont see many other clubs doing it now as the economy weakens and remains weak for years. - Post No. 28625
Wombledin 21:50pm 6th Sep 2012
What did you expect? A leopard doesn't change his spots. This is the Wenger way. You havn't figured that out by now? How naive are many of our fans. - Post No. 28776
9th December 2013
Online Ed: Spoils shared at home to Everton