St Georges Park Training Centre Syllabus
By David O’Brien
Advancing the English game
Monday
• 9am- 12 - The use of the kitchen sink (inc what to throw prior to the Kitchen Sink)
• 1.30pm – 4pm – Getting it in to the mixer
• 4.30pm-5.30pm – Jamie Redknapp’s trousers and why so tight
Tuesday
• 9am-12 – Getting into your opponent early doors (inc letting them know they’re in a game)
• 1.30pm-4pm – Getting in amongst them and Getting in their faces
• 4.30pm -5.30pm (for those over 6ft only) – How to be good with your feet for a big lad
Wednesday
• 9am-12 - Joey Barton fight club
• 1.30pm-4pm Ashley Cole Twitter etiquette (how to save yourself £250,000)
• 4.30pm-5.30pm – How to set out your stall
Thursday
• 9am-12 – Diving techniques with guest speakers Gareth Bale & Luis Suarez
• 1.30pm-4pm – Dealing with cold Tuesday nights in Northern Town
• 4.30pm-5.30pm – 110% is mathematically possible with guest speaker Phil Brown
Friday
• 9am-12 – Perfecting the ‘He’s not that type of player’ line after a leg break
• 1.30pm – 4pm – Getting the ball off a player in a telephone box
• 4.30pm-5.30pm - Scoring goals that if a Brazilian had scored we’d be raving about
David O’Brien contributes ‘In The Away End’ to every issue of The Gooner and can be followed on Twitter @davidobrien49
11th October 2012
User Comment and Reaction
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chris 13:12pm 11th Oct 2012
Great syllabus.... sign me up - Post No. 29403
johnnyhawleyloovinggooner 14:15pm 11th Oct 2012
is St Georges Pk really needed now that every top class club has or is installing a training system as good as Arsenal? would letting clubs train and work with players at a very young age not be a better plan? this place seems 15 years out of date now to me. - Post No. 29404
maguiresbridge gooner 15:00pm 11th Oct 2012
Nice one David and to think our young guns are going to be a part of it. - Post No. 29407
Ron 17:40pm 11th Oct 2012
Thats good David!! Why no room for mastering 'welcome to Stoke'tackling techiques though? Come on lads! - Lets hear the ones hes had to exclude. - Post No. 29410
maguiresbridge gooner 23:12pm 11th Oct 2012
Well Ron how about in for extra training on a saturday morning from 10am to 11am to be familiarised with rear entrances out of all london airports for when they arrive home having failed again. - Post No. 29413
billthered 6:19am 12th Oct 2012
Late shift should include how to mouth obsceneties to referees and get away with it [Wayne Rooney style].Also getting Phil Dowd to referee your home games against Arsenal. - Post No. 29417
Tony Evans 8:14am 12th Oct 2012
How about an hour on how to convince yourselves that you are world beaters by telling every fool that will listen that you are. Also a full day on understanding how the FIFA world rankings work. England are third and could be top soon especially if they beat the mighty San Morino. True position? Let's be optimistic and say about 10th! What a load of rubbish we are and my interest in the national team is hovering just above zero. - Post No. 29420
maguiresbridge gooner 12:58pm 12th Oct 2012
After many hours trying to work out why Jamie Headnapp's trousers are so tight with rooney coming to the conclusion their to small their forced to stay on to work on tactics to stop him butting in all the time. - Post No. 29432
Stuart 15:25pm 13th Oct 2012
Why don't they just save the money and get their teams to simply practise penalties in the local park? - Post No. 29446
No. 17
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