Homage to Catalonia (and to Arsene)

By Ian Tanner

Groans at the ready, it's pun-time with Mr Tanner

On Sunday, due in part to transport isshoos, Arsenal were turning on the style before many had gone through the turnstiles. For the second time in twenty-one hours, I saw one of my teams hit the woodwork in the second minute; Jermaine Defoe having struck the Leicester City crossbar, albeit with nothing like the venom in Alexandre Lacazetteís pile-driver. Itís not every weekend that AFC Bournemouth play in front of more fans than do FC Barcelona, who definitely are more than just a (football) club, as they famously claim. In Catalonia, beatings were administered both on and off the pitch. The message is clear: Donít mess with Messi, or the baton-wielding police. Such beatings are likely to continue until morale improves. Cataloniaís world-famous footie team succeed in Spain; Catalonians want to secede from Spain.

Kolasinac Ė Someone at the club is doing something right

Apparently La Boss didnít even realise that Sunday marked twenty-one years since he (Arsene Who?) took over officially at Arsenal. That seems hard to believe; I suppose it will lead his detractors to diagnose senility. But thereís no place in top-level sport for senility, nor sentimentality for that matter. That said, I was sad to see home-grown and one-time England international Kieran Gibbs leave, but he bagged a contract with The Baggies, a middling team from The Midlands, when Arsenal, rightly IMHO, decided not to offer him a new one. As if to prove a point, Nacho Monreal, Gibbsí main competitor these last four seasons, was MOTM when Kieran returned home last week. But surely the main reason for Gibbsí departure was the arrival of Sead Kolasinac.

Without wishing to commit an old Colemanball, Seadís strength is his strength, or at least one of his strengths. He also makes interceptions aplenty, is good in the air and is no less backward in going forward than Hector Bellerin on the other flank. Iíll concede that our Bosnian star conceded an unnecessary free-kick, from which Brighton almost stole a march; Solly Marchís left-footed shot rivalled Lacazetteís for power. Had he scored, Solly would have sullied our latest clean sheet.

Sead was selected Łber alles by voters in last seasonís Bundesliga Team of the Season, no mean feat considering the competition. And you know what, we got him on a free contract. If weíd paid £20 million for him, heíd be described as one of the buys of the season. Thereís nowt so queer as folk, as the saying goes. Surely, somebody somewhere inside the Club is doing something right? Though not in every nook and cranny, Iíd contend. In what is grandiosely called The Official Matchday Programme, Iím not content with all the content. The Fixtures etc. pages STILL has us playing Watford at 3pm on Saturday 14th October (5.30pm), Everton at 3pm on Sunday 22nd October (1.30pm), Tottnum at 3pm on Saturday 18th November (12.30pm) and, last but definitely not least, Burnley at 3pm on Sunday 25th November (2pm on Sunday 26th November). Come on guys!

A top Gooner mate wonders whether Silent Stan will attend the AGM (11.30am on Thursday 26th October, or so I read in The Official Matchday Programme). Bit unfair if you ask me; Stanís never missed before and, besides, heíll not want to miss The Canaries two days earlier. Our majority shareholder will be able to kill two birds with one stone.

4th October 2017 09:19:10


Comments and Reaction

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Bard  14:00pm 4th Oct 2017

Dear me Ian, our demise has really got to you mate. Its driving me mad as well. Baddie will love your post. Humour and tragedy are two sides of the same coin so they say. If Stan buys Usmanov out it will be a proper tragedy for the club. - Post No. 110128

The Man From UNCLE  14:27pm 4th Oct 2017

I too would agree our egomaniac manager would have forgotten his 21st anniversary. Or perhaps, with memories of the 1000th game tonking handed out at The Bridge, it was deliberately kept low key. - Post No. 110129

mbg  16:01pm 4th Oct 2017

No need for wengers hench men or Orange coats to break out the batons yet (although some well ard AKB's would have, and still would in defence of their messiah but used their fists instead) they still have enough idiots who comply by listening to the spin and lies from his gob. wenger out. - Post No. 110130

Yes its Ron  16:31pm 4th Oct 2017

Kolasinac - is a cult hero already? Seems decent but its early days. AFC coaching hasnt had time to percolate into him yet and make him another player in the ever lengthening list of players who none of us know what positions hes supposed to master. I well recall that legend Eboue attaining cult hero status amongst many of the natives at the soulless dome some 7 or 8 yrs back, so best go easy on the gushing over this guy Ian. - Post No. 110131

CORNISH GOONER  19:03pm 4th Oct 2017

Oooh Alisher Usmanov!! Well spoken Chubby Boy - sorry I called you fatty. Excellent response to the odious Wiggy & great news for all Gooners. Let battle commence. - Post No. 110135

markymark  19:31pm 4th Oct 2017

Well done Cornish beat me to it! So ToOaW letís ask a further question , do you think a removal of Kronke would do the club good ( even if this meant Wenger coming under risk) or would you prefer 100% ownership by Kronke if this meant 100% guarantee of Keeping Wengo. Let us know your thoughts , I presume your silence is due to some server issue? Badarse has one that went on all season. - Post No. 110136

mbg  19:58pm 4th Oct 2017

markymark, I think we all know what Toadys answer is and what he'd prefer. we want wenger out. - Post No. 110137

Scruff  21:47pm 4th Oct 2017

Tooaw obviously the questions put to you were a tad difficult so let's start with easy ones and work our way up to what you consider tough. Can others please add some further easy questions as I do not wish to be labelled as bully type picking on a singular unfortunate oaf. My easy question to you is ; who do you believe to be the best manager in Arsenals history and why? - Post No. 110138

markymark  18:20pm 5th Oct 2017

Címon help me and scruff out. Letís have some questions for toady ( thanks MBG Iím nicking that one:)) - Post No. 110147

Issue #269 - Out Now!

Gooner Editorial

15th January 2018

Being muscled off the ball by Bournemouth is like being mugged by your grandma

Online Ed: Another poor Arsenal display on the road just another signpost as we near the end of the Wenger era