 We need to learn how to foul without getting carded – aka ‘bumping’
We are far too honest but we need to foul how United and Chelsea do
If we genuinely want to challenge Manchester United and Chelsea for the top honours then we have to stop being so naïve about how to foul properly. Not only are United and Chelsea excellent at defending and attacking – make a note there Arsene, they can do both – but they are also the yardstick for how to break up play without getting yellow carded. So why are we being so shy?
Sunday’s defeat to United was as expected as it was humiliating. I say humiliating, but that’s probably a bit strong, as I think humiliation needs to involve elements of shock and surprise. Sadly there was nothing shocking or surprising about our thorough dismantling. We were humiliated when we lost to United in the Champions League. No, Sunday’s defeat was emasculating. It was mere confirmation of how timid we are in comparison to them. Many labelled the Champions League whupping as “men vs boys”. Having had the prior notice of that mauling, plus two heavy home defeats by Chelsea, Arsenal should have been far more ready to make it a contest this time. Instead Sunday’s defeat to United was worse for the lack of improvement, it was men vs toddlers. As Kevin Whitcher has already said, I texted him and others that the final score was Amateurs 1 Professionals 3. Well let’s learn from these professionals. United and Chelsea are very clever with their fouls. They are both masters of making fouls that are wholly designed to break up play but which are not seen by officials as being yellow card offences. It’s a fairly new type of foul, a clever style of obstruction. It’s the latest craze kids, but it is very conniving. It is known as ‘bumping’. You don’t need to trip players to foul them, that is the classic foul, but it’s too transparent. A trip is fairly easy to see and it will look intentional. If officials think they are seeing an intentional foul, a yellow card follows, even for the first offence. This is why so many of our players, from Vieira in the past to Song right now, get done for their first foul while opponents don’t. Our fouls are old-school and look obvious. Once Nani got Song booked early on Sunday he was neutered for the rest of the match. The new, much less detectable foul is to get close physically to your opponent and bump him. Bump him as he receives the ball, bump your man as he turns, bump him as he tries to run past you. Your opponent is stalled at the very least, or ends up on the ground at best. The ‘bump’ works because it looks accidental. Follow the bump with an innocent shrug or a quick hands-up and a look that suggests “I don’t know what’s happened there” and officials just give a free-kick and let play continue. You can get away with three or four such bumping offences without danger of getting a yellow card. Referees don’t realise that what they have seen is an intentional foul because the very best advocators make bumping look genuinely accidental. Obstruction is old-school, too transparent and often comes once the ball has moved on. Bumping works because as the ball is still present the contact seems to be unintentional. Referees often don’t see bumps as a foul at all, because they are executed to look like genuine collisions. Pulled off well, a bump can leave the victim standing or slumped waiting for a free-kick which doesn’t come, leaving the offenders to run off with possession and insinuate that the ‘victim’ dived. You can also win a free-kick by bumping into your nearest opponent, inferring that he has fouled you. Steven Gerrard is a master at this, especially when he wants to earn a free-kick outside the box. I’ve known for a long time that we are shy of making this sort of bumped foul but Sunday’s defeat was aching for them, to break up United’s play. Each of United’s goals could have been stopped by bumping their players off the ball. We’d have conceded a free-kick each time but that’s better than conceding goals. When Nani tucked inside Clichy for United’s first, Nasri should have been near enough to bump him off his stride, which at least would have delayed him. Denilson marooned himself inside the penalty area, too square-on to make a challenge, but he could have got outside the area in time to collide with Nani once he made it through. United’s second goal was absolutely prime to be stopped and is the most killer example of when to bump and how naïve we are not to do it. Rooney was facing United’s goal deep inside their half when he received the ball from their defence. He should have been bumped immediately and we could have robbed possession. We might even have scored, such would have been the initial confusion. Instead, we gave Rooney the space to turn and play in Nani. Rooney could have been bumped out of contention there and then, after playing the ball, to take him out of the move but, no, we let him run 60 yards unchallenged to score a free goal. He should have been bumped along the way but, again no, none of our players got near Rooney. The third goal was inevitable as soon as Park ran clear but someone should have got close enough to him with a 50-yard run-in to collide with him at some stage. United and Chelsea are brilliant at bumping. Watch on Sunday how the likes of Carvalho, Ivanovic and Mikel in particular bump our players off possession. See how they execute the fouls to look accidental and how they pass them off as genuine collisions. Notice how we trip and how they bump. And then see who scores the most goals. I hope deeply that we can override Chelsea’s henchmen and win in spite of their conniving strategies, but this is why United and Chelsea win everything these days. Not only are they more clinical, tactical and strategic than Arsenal with their football, while we just play pure football, but they are just as clinical, tactical and strategic with their fouls. By the way, you can now follow me on Twitter, at http://twitter.com/thatsimonrose.
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Posted 6th Feb 2010
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