LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Car of the year 2024 as voted for by the readers of Women's Own is..........
A blue one!!
A blue one!!
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Me and the wife have just been to the cinema to see that film Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman's struggle........full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car we rushed in and caught the credits...
Two hours of a woman's struggle........full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car we rushed in and caught the credits...
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
When employing someone, gather all the C.V.s together and randomly split them into two piles.
Take one pile and throw it in the bin.
This stops you employing anyone unlucky.
Take one pile and throw it in the bin.
This stops you employing anyone unlucky.
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Jokes about sugar are rare.
Jokes about brown sugar - Demerara.
Jokes about brown sugar - Demerara.
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
What they should really say on those cooking shows: "Hello and welcome to 'Pointless Cooking That Has Nothing To Do With Anyone's Actual Life'.
Today, we are making a very complicated recipe, using ingredients you don't have, utensils you've never heard of, and in a kitchen that is bigger than your whole fucking house."
Today, we are making a very complicated recipe, using ingredients you don't have, utensils you've never heard of, and in a kitchen that is bigger than your whole fucking house."
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I'm not saying you should totally distrust the internet, but there's a huge discrepancy between the number of iPads I've won,
and the number of iPads i own
and the number of iPads i own
- OneBardGooner
- Posts: 43292
- Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:41 am
- Location: Close To The Edge
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Absolute Laugh Out Loud one's Lefty...
Loved the Jihaddy and Scooby one's had to stop drinking my coffee till I finished reading them all
and as ever 'Thank-you' for really cheering me up.
Loved the Jihaddy and Scooby one's had to stop drinking my coffee till I finished reading them all
and as ever 'Thank-you' for really cheering me up.
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Made me laugh too, Lefty. Thank you.
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Glad you like them guys
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning: "
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
I've just bought a house with old period features.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
She fucking hates it when I call her that.
- DB10GOONER
- Posts: 59570
- Joined: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:06 pm
- Location: Dublin, Ireland.
- Contact:
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Mon Apr 22, 2024 6:07 pm"You will always remember this day as the happiest day of your life"
"But the Wedding is not until tomorrow dad"
"I know, son"
- OneBardGooner
- Posts: 43292
- Joined: Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:41 am
- Location: Close To The Edge
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
LeftfootlegendGooner wrote: ↑Tue Apr 23, 2024 4:41 pmWife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning: "
Windows frozen."
Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it"
Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
The wife was getting dressed up for a night out with her mates, walked into the lounge and asked me to rate her.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
"8 or 9 at least." I said.
"Out of 10?" she smiled... "Thanks, Babe, I'm flattered."
Didn't have the heart to tell her I meant pints.
-
- Posts: 10374
- Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2009 1:07 pm
Re: LeftfootlegendGooner's Friday joke thread
Men. Examine your own prostate by simply wiping your arse with Aldi value toilet roll.